Spiritual Intelligence

Vernal Equinox Vibes: “It’s ALL About Me”

By Bella LaQuatra

Vernal Equinox Vibes: “It’s ALL About Me”

Time for a GROUNDED emotional and spiritual check-in.

Keyword: Ground.

The Root Chakra has been front row and center as the emphasis for both BREAK: Online School of Sustainable Self-Mastery  and NERIA Collective. If you’re “feeling it” like so many of us, chances are you’ve found yourself metaphorically and metaphysically in the wall.

Major life changes, delays in plans, unexpected twists and turns, unprecedented anxiety, cliff-hangers, and universal “rerouting” have all been par for the course throughout last autumn and into the winter season. In fact, If I had a dollar for every person I know going through major upheaval, I’d be rolling DEEP.

Transitions get gnarly. Change is hard. You may have felt more than one occasion when the thick got so thick that the “OMG.. is this really happening? I SWEAR I can’t take any more ISH” card came out. But fear not. There’s an explanation. It’s not the end of the world, or is it?

If you caught the Eclipse Portal Blog on ButiYoga.com, we talked a whole lot about the reboot and restart. Reboot and restart of what, do you ask?

Culture and the majority of our consciousness were dominated by the MASUCLINE energy aspects (ie- The Patriarchy) for the past 2000 + years. Like the Mayans predicted, the dramatic shift felt in 2012 was seed to the rise of the Divine Feminine and shift in consciousness. Therein lies the "end of the world" -as we know it. Presently, in March of 2017, this recollection of HIS-tory has to be retold and replayed by the natural creator: HER-story. How does this translate? Chaos. There is always storm before the calm.

The chaos we’ve been experiencing is the fallout of old ways crashing, rewrites happening as we reorient to our soul’s true path, and a total reboot and upgrade of 3D reality as we know it.

If you’re a woman, chances are you’re feeling it harder and are feeling it now because you’re being called to lead.

This is a huge time for women because the FEMININE aspect is innately attuned to intuitive gifts. Intuition will drive forth this New Age, as well as lead the advancements in consciousness.

The Dalai Lama said it best, “Western Women will save the world”.

Yep, we will. This is the beginning.

Don’t worry, we love men here, too. And the men will catch up. They’re just going to take a little bit longer. This New Age isn’t as much about a power struggle as it’s about joining Feminine & Masculine aspects in Sacred Union.

What the heck does that mean?

Balance, Harmony, Flow, Integration: First we find it within ourselves and then amongst each other. But it’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take a whole lot of good old fashioned WERK.

And so, it’s that time: Time to land on our feet to do the work. We’ve reached the point when the center of the sun and equator are aligned, and lightness will soon preside over darkness.

1. Congratulations! You made it through the worst of it.

2. Happy Solar New Year; and this one is all about YOU. 

The Vernal Equinox is about Resurrection & Rebirth. From an astrological perspective; Mars-ruled Aries signals the beginning.

As we work through layers of unveiling, now is the time to deeply attune yourself to your intention and purpose for the upcoming months. While you may not yet reap the rewards, you’re planting major seeds that will carry you until next winter and onto this New Era. Get out of the clouds, and put your feet on the ground. You’re no longer incubating; the world needs your medicine NOW.

It’s time to give away all you’ve been learning, just make sure not to martyr yourself. Gone are the days and ways of martyrdom.

Imagine yourself: Imagine your energy. If you constantly give it away, your well will run dry. Be smart with where you’re expending yourself and do frequently check-in. Make sure there is a constant ebb and flow between input (what you’re receiving) and output (what you’re giving). Remember that practical implementation requires self- preservation. Execution requires stability. 

Be Soulfish and carry it proudly. Honor yourself. Love yourself. Pay attention to yourself. You say you do, but do you really? How often are you neglecting your own vessel, mind, and heart in the name of the greater good? It's ok to work in service, but don't forget what makes you human. Give yourself the love and attention that you deserve.

Final Verdict:

(Deck Credit: Starchild Tarot Deck)

The Feminine is rising. It's our time to shine; not necessarily in union or in allegiance to anyone but ourselves and our sisters. Right now is a time of practical and grounded work in implementation. Trust & Believe. Hold the vision. And above all else, stay Divine in your own power and authority.  It’s all unfolding in tandem with the universe perfectly.

Bless UP,

Bella LaQuatra, co-founder of NERIA Collective 

 

all photo credits to Sasha Danielle Photo

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The Fallacy of Transcendance

By Bella LaQuatra

For a few of us in the personal & spiritual development community, there are New Age clichés that make us want to cringe and proverbially poke out our third eye.  It’s not so much a vendetta against the traditional “hippie dippie woo woo”, as it is strong conviction that much of the “New Age” is merely a reaction and response to the old-world paradigm: a paradigm that’s rapidly becoming obsolete as we shift into higher spaces of connection and consciousness. 

For those of us who dedicate our lives to facilitating healing and transformation, we see critical flaw in many of the common “New Age” ideals and beliefs. They repackage old paradigm of passively turning over or giving away your innate power and personal sovereignty, yet operate and thrive undetected under the guise of “spirituality”- thus complacency and no real recovery or transformation can occur.

Herein lies the fallacy of “Let’s all be ethereal and transcend”.

Transcendence is commonly misused and trail blazed as a spiritual technique and tool.  By definition: “to transcend” is to surpass the range or limits of something abstract, typically a conceptual field or division. 

First and foremost, it is dangerous to create this abstraction of the human experience. We are solid matter. As human beings, we came into our body to be embodied and to differentiate and navigate through contrasting elements of lightness and darkness.  Contrasting: Not dual. It’s important to establish that contrast and duality are not one in the same. Duality is a man-made construct to understand and make sense of contrast, but unlike duality which draws a hard division and line between “light” and “dark”/ “good” and “evil”, contrast can be integrated. This integration is key to our evolution and our higher consciousness.

Integration cannot occur through transcendence, which is “surpassing” and “bypassing- trying to avoid the dark or not be present to it. Not only is this unhealthy, but this is simply an impossibility given our human nature.  When it comes to committing to the work necessary to reach higher levels of awareness and experience, telling someone to be “ethereal and transcend” is the equivalent of laying down the foundation to a house before leveling the peaks and troughs of the land plot. Sure, you can start building, but at some point- your floors going to crack.

Authentic transformation lies in alchemy.

The path of alchemy is the integration of light and darkness: a non-dual path that doesn’t require “transcending or bypassing”. Instead, it involves entering the darkness and doing the work to integrate that within the light: coming fully into an alignment with our authentic selves. 

To transmute is to change in form, nature, or substance.  When we transmute, we bulldoze our societal programming and emotional patterns to rebuild at a foundational level. This allows us the space for our personal and spiritual growth. From this evolution we step into a space of true leadership and power; aligning into our paths and purposes and allowing us to create legacy and impact in our community and world.

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IDENTITY: We've All Got One, Right?

By Bizzie Gold

I’ll spare you the long-winded, in-depth and no-doubt nerdy version of my Chakra system lectures for the purpose of this email and skip to the goods. (If you want to dig deeper in Chakra Diagnostic work and personal development, I’d suggest the Buti RYT program or a BREAK Method Workshop

The Chakras are REAL. Psychologist and researcher Dr. Hiroshi Motoyama proved their existence with an electromagnetic measurement tool in a series of clinical studies. What is a Chakra? In the simplest of terms it is a vortex of spinning energy or a collecting pool of energy. These vortices, of which there are 7 primary, run from your coccyx to the crown of your head. The science of the Chakra system is NOT religious and is deeply rooted in the practice of yoga.

Chakras develop or concentrate their energy in a specific vortex in phases of 7 years. The root chakra or Muladhara Chakra presides over the person from ages 0-7. During this time, as human beings, we only care about our basic needs being met, to be kept safe, fed and shown love. Unfortunately, many people experience unrest at home via parental disagreements, inconsistent emotional responses, overly harsh punishments of young children and of course more severe childhood scars like addiction and abuse. When we begin life with a disrupted foundation by way of root chakra imbalance, it becomes exceptionally challenging to securely develop your identity in the time of the sacral Chakra Svadhistana, ages 8-15.

There are variety of ways that we lose touch with our instinctive or TRUE identity:

1) root chakra primary imbalance (i.e. some type of trauma or fear disrupted your ability to have basic needs being met and therefore spending time poking around in the vulnerable abyss of forming your TRUE identity becomes unsafe.

2) your parents tried TOO hard to give you the perfect life. They shielded you from everything. Did everything for you and never forced you to go it alone and prove to yourself that you have the ability to be independent and make good decisions. Like a diamond that forms from a coal that has been intensely impact in all directions, your parents or caregivers, must not only allow you to make your own mistakes and learn from them but also create a system by which you are properly rewarded for excellence and reprimanded for failure or lack of effort. Parents that are overly careful not to “make their child feed bad,” often cause their child to never truly form a secure identity. It is through the impacts or boundaries created by the people around us that we discover WHO we are and what we AGREE and DISAGREE with.

3) we remember knowing EXACTLY what we wanted to do. Race car driver. Vet. Firefighter. You may have had some lofty goal you wanted to achieve with your life. Now, maybe the manifestation of that childhood perception of your purpose missed the mark slightly BUT there are important takeaways in the assessment of that 9 year oldIDENTITY. Sadly, due to socialization and parents infusing their Chakra imbalances onto us, we were likely made to feel that these goals, dreams or manifestations of identity were NOT GOOD ENOUGH or NOT REALISTIC. For many, this becomes that make or break moment where our parents decide to let us decide for ourselves and show loving support for excellence and criticism for failure OR push you throw away your dreams, DENY your true identity and turn into a version of what they want you to become. It is the FIRST time that we begin to feel phony, fraud and our creative centers (and often sexuality) come crashing down on us.

So, ask yourself - do you KNOW WHO YOU ARE or have you become a ROLE in your life: a “good” sister, a “good” wife, a caretaker, a doormat, a martyr, a referee - with little no true understanding of what your soul desires.
When you take on ROLES instead of discover your true identity, you often feel something is missing or struggle with the grass is greener complex. The truth is - the grass is greener - just not in the way that your emotional addiction is currently training you to think of it. “ Oh, if I just made more money.” “If I could just afford that purse.” ALL the IFs.

The only TRUE statement is - “IF only I committed to discovering my TRUE IDENTITY - then I’d be fulfilled and self-realized.”

The BREAK Method uses Directed Storytelling® to bypass the parts of the brain that cling to the emotionally-infused narrative that is your life story as you’re used to telling it or thinking about it. Especially if you’re an avid journaler, your life story suddenly takes on this larger than life role in your life and if I asked you to tell me your story 3 times, EVERY time would be different. Every time you’d jump back and forth in time and MOST IMPORTANTLY every time you get close to a memory that triggers an emotional response your brain tries to trick you into going around it, changing it or jumping to a different part of your chronology.

The parts of your story that OBJECTIVE-you and I need to see and understand are the parts of the story that aren’t romanticized. They’re not the pretty or necessarily clearly significant moments in your life. In my work, it’s become CLEAR as crystal, that in order to SHOW you the information you need to piece together your emotional addiction pattern and BREAK it forever, you need COLD, HARD, facts that come from your subconscious, instinctive brain. In this exercise, you are NOT to THINK you are to breath and write the first thing that comes to mind when you ask your SELF the question. If you catch yourself stopping to erase and re-write. DON’T. That’s your self-protection mechanism. It’s your brain trying to “protect” you from the truth. We always hear the truth shall set you free and this is certainly no exception.

Be sure to fill out the PDF workbook of Directed Storytelling® and watch the follow-up webinar provided to you for FREE in the previous link. During the IDENTITY Webinar, I will teach the first step to BREAKING FREE of emotional addiction. I was able to work with a few previous students LIVE on the webinar and many of their experiences resonated with the whole group. We often learn more about our journey (and its inevitable missteps) by baring witness to someone else's transformation. So, be sure to stay attentive and learn from their LIVE questions. Don't forget to complete your Directed Storytelling® workbook before watching the IDENTITY Webinar. 

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Lack of Sex Drive or Identity Crisis? Maybe It's YOU.

By Bizzie Gold

It happens to all of us. Sometimes you really are "just not in the mood" but what about when it becomes your way of life? We can make excuses and blame it on kids, work or exhaustion but the cold hard truth is that it's a sign of an identity crisis.

Those of us with children know that any hint of sex drive often dies with your first week of postpartum insomnia. For many, however, this lack of sex drive continues far beyond the newborn spit-ups and shitty diapers. Whether we went into pregnancy secure in our identity or career or got pregnant without ever having truly found ourselves - it's almost impossible to become a mother without losing some part of yourself in the process.

The 2nd chakra (Svadhistana) is the seat of creativity, identity and sexuality. Forming between the ages of 8 and 15, this swirling vortex of energy located in the sacral plexus teaches us the first steps of differentiation (boy from girl, mom from dad, vagina from penis). We also discover our likes, dislikes and what fuels our passion. In this period of rapid personal growth, many of us aspire to greatness and lofty goals because we haven't yet had our big dreams crushed or told that we weren't enough.

I think back to my little sister - now a project manager at a well-known start-up accelerator. When we were young, she desperately wanted to become a cleaning lady. No one wanted to crush her dreams and tell her that being a cleaning lady was not going to sustain her affluent Connecticut lifestyle. So, we let her sweep, mop and build work ethic for a few bucks until she decided it was cooler to become a lawyer or a doctor. Lucky for her, there's significant correlation between a cleaning lady and project manager so she's thankfully ended up in a career that supports her passion and purpose for organization. Unfortunately, this is extremely uncommon. The sad truth is statistics show that a women's self-esteem peaks at age 9.

A 2006 study found that women felt the most self-esteem before the people around them began to attack their identity or tell them who to be or where to assign value. While teaching a packed outdoor Buti Yoga class on Valentine's Day, I asked the women around me to remember what they wanted to be when they were 9. I asked them to remember what they placed high value on and what fueled their passion as a child. I asked them to focus on that 9 year old throughout the class. By the end, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Women remembered what it felt like to love and accept their bodies, feel electric excitement when preparing for a dance recital and love boys and girls without fear of being judged. I asked my students to seek clarity on their passion and purpose in an effort to begin the work clearing away messages, meanings and goals that we were socialized to believe. To move forward with clear passion and purpose, we have to assess what beliefs are truly ours and what beliefs may belong to parents, grandparents, husbands or co-workers. 

I am one of the lucky few (although it is statistically much more common in millennial women) to have aligned my adult career identity with my lofty 9 year old goals. Wondering what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Debbie Gibson. If you weren't a late 80's music fanatic like I clearly was at age 8, you can watch this amazingly cheesy music video that I used to be obsessed with -> https://youtu.be/IivGqwQvdCI. While I clearly didn't turn out to be an 80's singer with a feathered, permed bob - I did become a media personality that spends time on camera both performing and educating. When I was young, no matter who came over for dinner, I created a dance or play to perform for them because it fed my soul. I couldn't go through a day without creating. To this day, when I find myself having to work on organization and preparation tasks in my business, I notice my entire creative energy shut down and with that goes my sex drive. 

When I look back at the periods of my life with the lowest sex drives on record, the primary correlation is how much time I spent daily feeding my passion. Like I mentioned previously, childbirth was absolutely one of the lowest - in fact an almost 2 year "dry spell" followed my first pregnancy with Sarai. In the moment, I believed I was broken or that I had simply fallen out of love with my partner. It's clear to me now, after years of experience in working with clients in my personal development practice, that I wasn't broken - my creativity and identity were simply not being nourished. 

This made me go even further back. Think about it. When you get clarity on your passion and purpose, you can see that the intimate relationships that became sexless or always were sexless didn't allow you to feed your passion. Perhaps you had to hide your passion from your partner, you were embarrassed or even MORE common - you lost touch with what it was in the first place due to parental pressure, lack of feedback as a child or taking on the limiting beliefs of your parents. Like most young adults in our millennium, you dated people and became them. You were adaptable. You convinced yourself that is what becoming an adult was all about - that you were "finding yourself."For most, however, those years of trying to find yourself actually took you further away from your true identity. 

You might be reading this realizing you are currently in a relationship with someone who either wouldn't support your passion or may be intimidated by your passion. (You may also be intimidated by your passion leading to a collapse of sexual drive) Those of you that are having this epiphany right now are also starting to see the correlation between your sex drive and the expression of your passion. When a partner doesn't appreciate or nurture your passion, it feels subconsciously like rejection. The CRAZY part is - even if we lost touch with that passion, drive and identity a long time ago we still register the same rejection and emotional response.

We feel rejected (even if part of it is our own lack of clarity around our identity) and cut off the signals from the pleasure centers of the brain to our 2nd chakra (genitalia). So how do we fix it? There is hope and it's easier than you think. Even if you're in a sexless relationship or one that is lacking in the spark department - the answer lies within.YOU have to do the work to tap into your true identity and passion. 

This can have two clear outcomes:

1) you find ways to express your identity and passion bringing a new spark to your sex life and your partner lovingly supports (and even applauds) your new YOU

2) you do the work to discover your truth and passion and your partner rejects the new, fully expressed you

Even if you are left to manage the outcome of #2, it's still not a losing situation. It is common for people to enter into relationships in their early 20's to later find that they are "just not compatible" or have "irreconcilable differences." This is frequently caused by the pivotal moment one or both of the partners remembers who they truly are and feel empowered to express it. If you're in a relationship and the partner rejects the new you, you have an opportunity to live an EVEN more fulfilling life in the future filled with abundant creativity, fully expressed sexuality and a rock solid identity that will only attract the right partners in the future. 

 Whether you are facing a phase of personal development to find your true identity outside of your roles in life (mother, wife, sister) or you simply need to work up the courage to express that identity to your partner and to the world - one thing is certain - on the other side of identity crisis is your identity resolution. Your sex drive is an amazing indicator for your level of expressed identity. Check in with it and remember that is often an indicator of what's going on with YOU not your partner.

 

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